I am GREATER THAN keeping my mask on

With the title I used, I’m sure you’re probably ready to hate on me or praise me during these COVID times. Buuuuttttt, slow down. That is not the mask I’m talking about. (PS-wear a mask, it is not hard and could help. Act out of love for others.) Back to the main point. The concept of people wearing a “mask” and showing only what we want others to know is not new. Some claim that it was started in the era of social media, but we have always done this. Though, social media likely made it worse. Just think about prior eras of history and how people presented themselves to society, prim and proper, striving for perfection without a hair out of place and wearing only the best. NO ONE ALWAYS LOOKS OR ACTS LIKE THAT! If you’re a human being, it is impossible. This mask of false perfection is what I’m talking about. I shamefully admit that up until recently, I strived for perfection and wore a mask proudly.

Now this is a concept I have been wrestling with since high school when I first heard Stain Glass Masquerade by Casting Crowns (Click here to listen.) on a mission trip. If you don’t decide to listen, the essence of the song is that people in church hide what is happening in their lives and look perfect. As someone who always thought they had to be successful/perfect to get love, I felt this in my bones and remember breaking down. To this day, this song gives me all the feelings. 

I am learning that most have more in common than we think. We as human beings all have experienced and will again experience: hardships, challenges, joys, grief, elation, pain, growth, fear, etc. There is always something going on that others may not know about as we wear our perfection masks. We want others “to know” we are okay. But, that is a bold lie. Why do I say that? Because when I looked at my mask, what I was masking was the most broken in me or largest challenge for me at the time. I saw that area as not perfect, so mask up I did. What did this look like for me? Well, I worked diligently to excel at school, church/youth group, 4-H, dance, taekwondo, basically everything I was involved in to look perfect and distract others from my weight. I thought I could get love here and have the “perfect” life and no one would know how much I dislike myself. (Man, my masking thoughts were/are mean. None of my friends would ever say that to me.) What other masks do I sometimes wear? One example: “My husband and I have a great relationship with no effort.” While the first part is true (highlighted by our lovely photo), the mask of “no effort” is a complete lie. Sometimes it is WORK. Sometimes it is having the conversation you don’t want to have. Sometimes it is admitting you’re wrong…yes, YOU can be wrong. 

Did you get a visceral feeling after reading that last sentence? That’s why I think unmasking can be straight up painful and difficult. It shows a point of struggle, but then also means you have to take responsibility for your unmasked self. It leaves you exposed. Scary! And, scary beautiful. As I work to be unmasked by talking about my life and journeys, my growth has been exponential. I’m stronger in my faith, physically, mentally, emotionally, in my leadership skills, and in my relationships. Showing up fully as only me highlighted other passions like teaching, which is why I’m blogging. I encourage you to start unmasking whatever you’re trying to portray to others. It will be a challenge, but you are greater than keeping yourself covered up in shiny plastic packaging. You are enough and greater than whatever you are hiding behind.

“Are we happy plastic people

Under shiny plastic steeples

With walls around our weakness

And smiles that hide our pain

But the invitations open

To every heart that’s been broken

Maybe then we close the curtain

On our stained glass masquerade”

Stained Glass Masquerade by Casting Crowns