I hate snakes. Ironic because I am a Slytherin, but alas we are where we are. My fear of snakes is not what we are here to discuss. Let’s talk about the fears that keep us from doing something we want to do. Fear has a place. It’s how humans have survived this long. The fear response kept us alive. “Oh that’s not safe. Must make myself afraid so I don’t die.” -Your brain to your nervous system. While this system is amazing, just like every other system, the unforeseen consequences can be harmful. Now that we human beings aren’t in immediate danger all the time, when this system does kick in, it spurs inaction in us when we sense uncertainty.
Outside of immediate danger, uncertainty drives fear. “If I do this, I don’t know what will happen and that scares me.” That fear keeps us from doing the thing we want/need to do: having that hard conversation, playing softball with your co-workers, starting a podcast, learning a new language, etc. DO THE THING! Yes, anxiety might creep in, but I have found that it is almost never as scary as my brain thought it would be. My example for this? You’re reading it. I wanted to start a blog since the end of 2019. I told my husband that 2020 would be my year. While I did start my blog in 2020, my first post was not until late December 2020. Due to my fears, I missed out on several months of sharing and teaching.
I was afraid to share my thoughts. Why? Well, I am an enneagram 3. If you do not know about the enneagram, it is a personality system that identifies core desires and fears instead of behaviors. As an enneagram 3–an achiever or performer, I do care about how others view me. (For the longest time I felt guilt over this, but not anymore. A separate blog post will come for this topic.) Since I care what others think, I was worried I would be ridiculed for my opinions, how I do things, and how I write. What helped me for this? My husband asked who I wanted to serve with this blog followed by asking if who I was worried about was the same demographic. My answer? No. The next question he asked then why does it matter? He’s right, it doesn’t. What matters is that I did try and put myself out there to share with the audience I wanted to. Outside of them, it does not matter. As Brene Brown writes, “Sometimes the bravest and most important thing you can do is just show up.”
An additional fear was putting my writing on display for all. I have never thought of myself as a “good” writer. Laying out my writing for all to see feels like I’m fully exposed. While I was in the “advanced English classes” middle school through high school, I skimmed by on writing assignments and hated English class the most. It didn’t come naturally for me. I always received much feedback on my writing assignments, but it wasn’t until recently that I saw that as a good thing. Throughout my schooling I saw all the red on my papers as a sign that my writing was not good enough. I’ve carried that with me for years into much of my training. However, now I realize that this fear kept me from serving others through this blog.
You see, I wasn’t sure the response I would get. It has been so surprising to me the number of people telling me how much they enjoy reading and learning from my blog. If I had continued to listen to my fears, this wouldn’t have happened. I chose to be brave and just start showing up. In fact, one of my goals for 2021 is to create a flourishing and ever serving blog as seen by the photo of part of my vision board.
So, what are you fearing? Be brave and start showing up. You’ll likely be surprised at the feedback you might receive. Stop letting fear hold you back. You are GREATER THAN your fears.
“Sometimes the bravest and most important thing you can do is just show up.”
-Brene Brown
Greater Than 